Something makes me sad whenever I hear couples want to get a divorce then I wonder why they even had to get married in the first place if they knew that after 13 or 25 years in marriage they would get a divorce. I mean what is the use but what surprises me the most is that these couples having been saying I love you since even before they were married, so does that mean that this thing everybody calls love does not exist, well as for me I do not think so.
First of all, I will like to know what the meaning of love is, let us see what the dictionary definition of what love really means:
1. Love: a strong feeling of deep affection for somebody or something
2. Love: a strong feeling of affection for somebody that you are sexually attracted to
3. Love: the strong feeling of enjoyment that something gives you
The three definitions outlined here has to do with affection, romance and enjoyment as defined in the dictionary which means a couple who have said “I DO” from the altar is supposed to have this three characteristics in their marriage life.
AFFECTION
The affection for each other is supposed to be there, if the affection is not there then how can you communicate with each other. Each party minding his or her own business, imagine if one partner had a bad day at work he or she can not tell the other because the affection is not there, many things will go wrong if there is no affection.
ROMANCE
Sex is one thing we humans can not do without even animals do have sex, it is something that have being since the beginning of creation. God has ordained it and given it out as a commandment to every creature to have dominion and multiply, so how are we going to do this I believe it is by having sex or don’t you think so.
Couples who have a sexless life in their marriage have the greatest problem in life because I do not understand why a man and a woman who have been legally joined together as one, promised to be with one another passing through happy moment and hard times together and deciding to have kids should now stop having sex after about six years of marriage.
My advice to married couples now is for them to consummate their sex life to the fullest.
ENJOYMENT
Is there any other thing better in this world than to enjoy one’s self I think not, this is what so many marriages lack that make them break up later on “NO ENJOYMENT”.
Couples do not find time to go out anymore, no more dinner dates outside, remember that that was what you were doing when you started dating each other, no more buying of gift for each other. I suggest couples should take time out and go on a vacation together and see the world or else your marriage will become so boring that you begin to hate each other.
Enjoy yourselves! Enjoy your marriage!! Enjoy life!!!
So I would rather say,
LOVE = AFFECTION + ROMANCE + ENJOYMENT
Remember that it is when you love someone that is when you think of marriage, now if two of the three characteristics of love is missing then there is no love, which I think leads to break up in marriages which means if you want your marriage to last long these three things must be present in your marriage life.
Now let’s take a case study of this three movie relating to marriage.
1. Meet Bill: Bill found out that his wife was cheating on him, ok now notice what transpired later on, bill became angry and it got to the verge of him wanting to kill the other guy but he took control of himself and his friends advised him on what he has done and hasn’t done like, he no more bought gifts for his wife anymore, he was becoming fat and remember that when he watched the video tape the wife said he doesn’t agree to blow jobs. This is why communication between you and your spouse should never cease, talk about your day at work, about sex, about your body, what you want out of life, your dreams and get to know each other the more even after marriage.
Bill wasn’t living his life, he was living a life that wasn’t his now notice what he did, he started buying gifts for his wife it is universally known that women love to have gifts from their partner especially gifts that are sexy. He opened up to his wife about his job and he resigned from his job now his wife saw reasons with him and joined him.
2. The Women: Steve’s wife found out that her husband was cheating on her thanks to the loud mouthed perfume sales person at sax that was not able to keep her mouth shut though I’m not saying the affair should have been something to be kept hidden but she became furious, out of control, depressed and what did she do, she threw the husband’s things out and demanded for a divorce but before she met with the mistress of the husband and confronted her but after that scenario I expected her to do something and that was to study what the husband likes about the mistress that she possess so that she will work on that thing that is missing in her and present in the mistress so that she could win her husband back but she didn’t do this.
I would say that those couples who let mistresses or men win over their husband or wives are big losers because I can not imagine why a marriage that I have invested my time, money, effort and sacrificed some things then I will let one stupid man or mistress destroy it right in front of my eyes and I will do nothing about it except get a divorce, you’ve got to be kidding me but thank God Steve’s wife got over her blocked head and found something doing which was her passion and later on she and her husband worked things over.
3. Bringing Down The House: In bringing down the house we saw that Peter was separated from his wife but there is something I want to bring out of here remember when Queen Latifah and Peter went out to a club which coincidentally Peter’s wife and her sister were in, now remember when latifah asked Peter to dance with her and the wife saw them dancing together she said he never danced like that with her when they were still together then she asked if it was she that kind of made the marriage such a wreck.
The point I want to bring out of here is that when your marriage is on the brink of collapse the question you should ask yourself is
Have I done something wrong to make this marriage not to work?
Instead of finding faults from your partner, first check yourself it might be that the fault is from you.
Those who have been married for more than 5 years and want to get a divorce because they caught their spouse cheating should have a rethink. What would be your advice to those who just got married, would you advice them to go for divorce when they catch their spouse cheating on them.
Come on people, this topic is open for discussion I want to know what your suggestion or opinion is.
There are a lot of things I would have liked to say here but I wanted it to be something we could all talk about so let us talk about this.
